I ain’t afraid of no site wifa buncha lawyers and cops.

Buncha assholes.

neutralizer:

oh my god, wtf people, is it like Follow Crim’s Tumblr Day or something @_@

Tigre, April, hi hi! thanks for the follow!

How you doin’?

My, I ain’t seen an ass like dat since I came back from vaca.

littlevioletcorpse:

tigereatsphoenix:

littlevioletcorpse:

…Splendid, Don Tigre. Splendid. *takes the wad of money from him and places it inside of her desk for later* There. I believe we can close up for the night now… Hee hee hee.

Y-yeah!

S-so uh… Didja keep the bed warm?

You know I did, Don Tigre… Is this your special way of asking… if it is time for bed yet? Hee hee…

‘Course, babe! Dat’s my girl.

(At least I still get some out of this. Jesus, this broad is dense.)

littlevioletcorpse:

…Splendid, Don Tigre. Splendid. *takes the wad of money from him and places it inside of her desk for later* There. I believe we can close up for the night now… Hee hee hee.

Y-yeah!

S-so uh… Didja keep the bed warm?

littlevioletcorpse:

tigereatsphoenix:

littlevioletcorpse:

Why, of course, Don Tigre. Always for you. I even brewed a brand new pot and baked fresh cookies for you. …I want you to have a pleasant evening. *creepy pause* So… where HAVE you been all this time…?

Y-Youse know, here, there.

T-Tying up some debts, getting repayment.

Is that… the truth?

Well, I’m sure it is… You’d never lie to me, Don Tigre. Ah… *small sigh* Nevertheless, I am beyond ecstatic to see you home… safe and sound. This is where you belong: with me.

Y-yeah!

I-I-I just gots us a big haul!

-pulls out a wad of hundred dollar bills-

(Tch. Though she’d split the joint. Pain in my ass.)

littlevioletcorpse:

Why, of course, Don Tigre. Always for you. I even brewed a brand new pot and baked fresh cookies for you. …I want you to have a pleasant evening. *creepy pause* So… where HAVE you been all this time…?

Y-Youse know, here, there.

T-Tying up some debts, getting repayment.

littlevioletcorpse:

tigereatsphoenix:

V-Violetta, babe!

Wh-What’re you doing on this here site?

…Oh. Don Tigre. You’ve finally returned. How long has it been since our last… encounter? I’m curious… How have you been? Hee hee hee…

I-I’ve been good, babe.

D-Did you save dat cuppa joe for me?

V-Violetta, babe!

Wh-What’re you doing on this here site?

perfectrecord:

tigereatsphoenix replied to your post: …Well, don’t youse look like a fruit?

Youse talk like a fruit, too. I wonder if youse bruise like one.

Mr Tigre, is it? Violence, or threats of it, will not be tolerated; and neither shall such comments, however ill-educated they sound.

You are not making a very good impression. At all.

I didn’t threaten nuttin, Mr. Purple Suit.

…you’re startin to remind me of that lawyer guy, you know dat?

He screamed nice and loud.

coffee-coffee:

tigereatsphoenix:

Youse look like the one guy I beat the crud outta dat one time.

(Wonderful.) That’s not a very polite way to greet someone, tiger. 

Youse don’t seem too over polite yourself, there.